Quiet Waters

Well, now that I think of it, there was something spectacular that happened this week. However, it does require another confession. So be warned if you dare to read on. Otherwise wait until next time when I post some more pictures. :-)

I guess I have been struggling with a heart problem and didn't fully realize it until I was forced to look at myself. I'm not talking about a medical issue here. In the last few months it has been my job to make sense of our cluttered house, clean the yard, attend to odd jobs here and there. These are things that we normally get to. With Jeff being busy, and a 1.5 year old running around........let's just say things have gotten a bit run down. I have been trying to swallow my pride and just have people over regardless. Always when they enter my home, I feel compelled to explain its condition, or wish I could just hide under a rock. Then last week, I visited a new friends home for the first time. When I walked in the door I almost lost my breath. Her house was stunningly beautiful. I mean a real showplace. I don't think she is prideful about this by the way. She just has a knack for this kind of thing.

When we came home, I couldn't help looking at my house in utter despair. After the kids went to bed, I just broke down. I cried to God. Actually I complained bitterly. "I've had enough! Why can't I just buy a new (fill in the blank)? So and so doesn't have to put up with this. I just want to be done." And so on. Not a moment I'm proud of. So why am I telling you about it then. Well, because it has a happy ending of course.

Finally, I decided to open my bible. It fell to Psalm 24 and 25. I began reading the first Psalm. It mentioned not being caught up by idols. God spoke to me through these words. I was holding on to a beautiful house or the idea of a beautiful house as an idol. It had begun as a simple longing while I cleaned these last months. And it had grown into a full fledged monster. Well that just made me cry harder. I knew the problem. Problem was I couldn't stop holding on to it no matter how hard I wanted to. To my utter grief, I realized that I could not let go. I was being tossed in the waves of despair, and I was beginning to drown. So what does a drowning person do? I called out for help. I asked Jesus to "help me!" The second I said those words, my heart was completely calm. Every tumultuous emotion vanished. Just like that. I stood up, said "thank you", and went to bed. As I walked through the hall, I couldn't help thinking of the disciples on that tipsy boat in the storm when Jesus said "Be still!" In a flash the sea turned calm. I'm thankful His words can quiet hearts in the same manner.

Hope you are encouraged. He never let's us drown. Even if we are the ones who build the pool sometimes.